I Hate This Part of My Depression 

I hate when my mind starts to chatter the self-doubt that lurks behind my strength. I wonder if I will ever really be free from the prison. 

Why do I have to be this way? I have come so far and out of nowhere the clouds start to darken. The overwhelming heaviness becomes too much and I just want to go to sleep. Close my eyes and join the dark. It’s exhausting. 

I feel sad and lonely. Left out. I’m surrounded by people I care about and I like solitude otherwise. What is wrong with me?  I shake my fist at my mind. I’m beyond irritable even with the people I love. 

I take my medication on a regular basis and check in with my doctor every few months to talk about doses and how I am feeling. I see my therapist when things get really bad. I practice self-care on a consistent basis. Sure, I could get more exercise and eat a little better but I mostly do everything right to manage my mental health. 

I know how I am feeling will soon pass. I just hate this part of my depression. I just want to go to sleep. 

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